Donald Trump turned 80 this week, and if you thought the White House couldn’t get any more chaotic, well, think again. The man who once compared himself to Abraham Lincoln now apparently wants to be compared to Caesar. Or maybe Zeus. It’s hard to keep track.
The celebration was, there’s no polite way to say this, absolutely massive. We’re talking a full UFC octagon constructed on the White House lawn, fighters paid in cryptocurrency from the Trump family’s crypto venture, and an entrance walk from the Oval Office that was broadcast live on streaming platforms. The whole thing made Madison Square Garden look like a backyard barbecue.
The East Wing was demolished to make room for a new ballroom, because apparently the existing White House wasn’t grand enough for this particular ego trip. And here’s where it gets really interesting: Trump suggested the octagon might never come down. He called it “quite attractive” and compared it to the Eiffel Tower, which is the kind of comparison that makes you wonder if anyone’s ever told him that the Eiffel Tower isn’t typically built in someone’s backyard.
The event itself was delayed because of weather, because even the universe sometimes tries to hit the pause button on Trump’s more chaotic impulses. But that didn’t stop a military flyover from kicking things off, or the roar of a hand-picked crowd cheering their guy on. It’s worth noting this was a markedly different reception than what Trump got at the NBA Finals last week, where he was booed at Madison Square Garden. Apparently, the White House crowd was more… curated.
One of the brighter moments came when lightweight fighter Mauricio Ruffy celebrated his victory over Michael Chandler by proposing to his girlfriend through an interpreter. In the middle of all this political theater, at least someone had a genuine human moment. You have to appreciate that.
But let’s talk about the crypto announcement, because that’s where things get genuinely interesting. The official broadcast made clear that fighters would be paid in crypto from the Trump family’s crypto company. This is the kind of overlap between personal business interests and presidential power that would normally have ethics watchdogs ringing alarm bells, though at this point those alarms have probably gone deaf from constant ringing.
What’s the takeaway from all this? Maybe there isn’t one. Maybe we’re just watching a man who has never really understood the concept of boundaries decide that the White House is just another stage for his personal brand of spectacle. The octagon is temporary, they say. Then again, so was the presidency, and look how that turned out.
